Sunday, September 18, 2011

Still sick. At Starbucks reading and enjoying myself, ignoring calls, ignoring roomate and others who need a ride etc. Reading a book, a hard book on the effects of sexual abuse on one's ability to be intimate. Looking back on 40 years plus of shutting down and shutting people out. It's hard really. Will continue to work on these issues. Drinking my second cup of coffee. Spent part of my rent money on the coffee, will just owe a couple of bucks more next month. * Groups are coming up soon again after a two week break. Thank god. I do terrible when I don't have anything at all to do. Groups in the morning are good because they get me up and about, and then I can write/walk etc. in the afternoon, early evening. But I'm having to learn to put boundaries up as not many folks on SSI have a car, and well I have a car, and everyone wants a ride!! I can't take it anymore. One guy's going to give me 10 bucks gas money, but others, well others will take a mile if you give them an inch, and it's hard for me to say no, but I'm getting better at it as I simply just left the complex today. Freedom. I am ignoring my phone, so don't call :) * "Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding." -- Kahil Gilbran THE PROPHET * I obviously love Cat Stevens and consider him a poet in much the same way I consider Dylan a poet. *

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