I self-berated myself in the last two posts, and I don't do that anymore. In any case, I printed out a copy of Seven and am thinking of titling it "Seven" again, and I'm thinking of keeping Latin section titles too. It felt re-affirming to have a hard copy for some reason, and in having that hard copy, I don't think books will ever totally disappear? I suppose that may only be for my age group, and I'm 46. Young kids seem to prefer electronic devices and texting, so my guess is they would prefer something like nook or whatever it's called. Many poetry presses are not offering their books in this manner, which I think will be detrimental during the transition. People actually read poetry in this manner NOW. And most contemporary poets aren't publishing in this manner as presses are slow about doing so still. I want my books to be able to be downloaded or whatever in this manner. Does anyone know a press which is on nook etc? I don't think many even read this, but again, it does me good to relieve stress here, and I think in more ways than one the blog has taken a turn towards trauma, PTSD, bipolar etc. and how those things intertwine to make one tick. No it's not about that, it's about survival and moving beyond that to thriving. It's about finding confidence when one hasn't had it, or has gone between grandiose thinking and severe depression.

People still talk community, but for some, that's very narrow and others very broad. I prefer those with broad vision. VISION to see others outside of a narrow clique of 8 or so "friends". Thank god I am recognizing those that are supportive beyond a small group, beyond mere talk of support. I really have some HUGE support out there and I've been trying to get the support of people who just won't support me. There are many supportive Chicano/as who move like ghosts through the talkers and provide real action, assistance and support. I used to call this blog Chicana Poetics but changed the title. I maybe shouldn't have changed the title. I let myself get discouraged by a few, a very few human beings that made mistakes in their own grandiosity and since then that's changed. They have become about supporting others, but this wasn't always the case. I'm sorry to say this, but some folks screw others unintentionally. So over all, I've decided to write and maybe review a few books. This is my effort to support others whose art is working for me and move on to doing some good work.

I am finding community here in Colorado, but it's a long travel time, so I don't know where it will go. I'm trying another poetry group on May 5th.

Tomorrow I head to Westminster for a poetry group, which is way too far north for me to be attending. We'll see if I can make it through the rest of the course. Gas prices are obviously outrageous, and I'll have to take 3 buses to get there.

In any case, the main reason for my posting today is that I will no longer berate myself here or anywhere else. It's hard work. It's a long story.

I have an interest in the poetry of Witness, or poetry of trauma. I want to read Carolyn Forche's anthology on it, and more so I want to try to write about it, but it is very difficult.


But I can do it!

I think I can. I believe in myself. I will say these new hoaky words every day here on out.