"To Psychoanalysis" by Kenneth Koch

Oh, I'm in a better mood today, but I'm still exhausted most days from work. I miss going to coffee shops and having a little cash. I miss it, but it is easily within my grasp now that I'm scheduled to work more hours. Ugh. The price we pay.

I miss playing music videos here. Don't get me wrong, I like poetry, but it is often so serious, so painful, so full of recovery and self-loathing, and hard lessons, parables and shadows and sudden bursts of sunlight. I love it. I hate it.

So it's time to try writing a bit tonight. I haven't made it to the gym since I started this job since I'm so exhausted when I get off, especially if I go in at 6a.m. to 2 p.m.. I just don't have the spunk and pep I did when I was younger. But I'm hanging in there with the young ones. I need to get to the gym tomorrow since I work 2-10.

I'm trying very hard to be a better person. It's quite difficult.


*

Mountain Dwelling

Things of the past are already long gone
and things to be, distant beyond imagining.
The Tao is just this moment, these words:
plum blossoms fallen; gardenia just opening.

Ch'ing Kung (d. 1352)

from ZEN INSPIRATIONS: Essential Meditations and Texts. Duncan Beard Publishers. London. 2004.