Saturday, December 03, 2011

Oh Lord. AZ rejected my manuscript, my poor little manuscript which has nowhere to go. Maybe. Another press has "invited" me to submit and they are "invitation only," so hopefully my poor poems, my impoverished, skinny little things will find a long lost home! AZ has books published till 2013, a balm to my wounded ego. No, I still have the ego in tact, though self-esteem is teetering. Will I ever find a place for that manuscript? First one falls through,and the second option takes a dive. Is the third time the charm? Is this a hint from the universe that I start again from scratch?!!!  That would be okay. I think maybe I tried to rush due to everyone else publishing books back to back, but alas that's not my destiny. It's slow going down on these lower rungs of the literary establishment and/or po-biz. No Poetry Society of America exposure for my little sad poems and sadder thoughts and posturings about Latino poetry or about poetry.My poems need anti-depressants they are so lonely. But I am trying and I will try and try again.I've sent work to a number of journals I am waiting to hear from. I can work on it all a little more, though these malnourished poems aren't feeding me! They have in the past and I want them to take care of me again, ever? Maybe I should reapply to Yaddo or something. I feel at a loss here with all this time to write and nowhere to publish. I hope my spankin' new press likes my submission.  It's come down to a difficult choice re: next month, but I'm going to go where I can find some shelter from the storm. I hope. I need to be treated well. And my poems should be treated better. They, like me, if anything are persistent little suckers.

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