I've been thinking about poets I tend to idolize and how I need to stop idolizing them. Admire them yes, but they are just as human as you and I. I need to work on this as I go silly around poets whose work I admire.

This is not to say that these poets are good "marketers," I'm not interested in poets who can market well because that doesn't guarantee the work is any good. I'm interested in poets who blow the top off my head which a young one has done recently. Her work is opening all kinds of doors and windows for me to grow as a poet.

Some poets market well, but simply can't write. You know who they are. I don't have to name names. They get a lot of readings and are always sure to hustle, but their work sometimes suffers. This is just an observation. I mean the work seems rushed or something, but readings and mentions in important places they can get. All I can think is how disappointed an audience can be in such a situation. I am fearful this will be the case with the second collection. But I need to recognize that we are all different, and maybe the work that seems rushed to me someone else will enjoy. And I need to have some confidence in my work.

Still worried about second manuscript, but will hear back from poets whose work I greatly admire soon. Hopefully they will be honest. I am not sure where the confidence has gone. Oh Yes, I am sure when it left. I was twelve. Time to take it back, one word at a time. It's difficult, very difficult. We can only heal and grow and keep on writing. When we write, we are creatively engaging with the universe. It is a healthy thing.