Friday, June 03, 2011

Today, again I walked and sketched a bit. I went to DBT group this morning, and it was good in that I am learning more and more about being mindful. I most certainly messed things up in 2008, to the level that some won't even speak to me anymore, but that's okay. I have to give them space, and I have to be responsible for my own behavior, which, has been in the past, very,very impulsive. I was hurt, and usually anger is because we perceive some need of ours is not being met. I felt Francisco was interested in promoting Francisco, because that's how I felt in 2005. But that's a long, long time ago.

Basically, I was a mess, and I felt unsupported etc. I talk about trauma and I realize the magnitude of such things is lost on most, and I suspect the second collection, if ever published will attest to such things. I believe we are often unwilling to believe the traumas that some of us go through, and of course, are likely to dismiss such things as silly excuses, but these things made me who I am today, and of course, this can be both good and bad.

In any case, today I plan on doing some more drawing and relaxing. I went on a great walk, ever so slowly and enjoyed squirrels, black birds, bugs, and the buzzing prairie. It felt so good. I am so glad to be walking finally. I hope to keep it up as I am prone to be sedentary.


The manuscript sits until Saturday when I have a meeting with BR, the red pen of doom! Then Sunday I will work on getting it in format with P and hopefully just trim and polish until the end of June, when I plan on sending it back. We'll see. I have flip-flopped on the title at least five times as it is now back to Seven despite the cries from the red pen of doom :0


I tried reading Annie Proulx's THE SHIPPING NEWS and just couldn't finish it, so next I will try Junot Diaz's THE BRIEF WONDROUS LIFE OF OSCAR WAO. My inability to finish Proulx is more a fault of my ADD than Proulx's prose which is unique and I was willing to steal an image, just one. ;)

I also have a book by Mary Karr called CHERRY. I love THE LIAR'S CLUB so suspect this one will be good too, but alas, ADD and trouble focusing makes reading longer novels difficult for me, but I have to say I breezed through THE GLASS CASTLE by Jeanette Walls. That's a really good book! It's about a dysfunctional family and neglectful parents. I highly recommend reading it.

I'm off to go outside now.

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