Wednesday, August 04, 2010

The Flower

Thinking about invisibility and silence and marginalization yet again and wondering if it all doesn't stem from a bad childhood. Yes, the issue of race and or culture is paramount, yet my feelings of invisibility and irrelevance are deeply rooted to an abusive step-parent and feelings of abandonment I think. I can't help but wonder if some outrage we experience is simply our own pain talking.

That said, po-biz seems inherently an avoidance of actual poetry. But my feelings about po-biz may be tied to that early abandonment I experienced in not knowing my real biological father. Therefore, anytime I'm left out or feel left out, it is rooted to past pain rather than current reality. The past pain of more favored siblings etc. is similar to the pain one feels in being seemingly left out of po-bizzz circles.
There's something seriously amiss some days re: poetry world business. I guess it is all about self-promotion rather than poetry? We'll have to wait and see? The whole point is that I need to write.

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