Sunday, June 24, 2012

Worried incessantly about the hearing, how the judge will rule. Ugh. Can't stand it. I am terribly on edge. In any case, Frederick Seidel's poetry sure helps me get out of that worry! He's saucy. Right now, he's my favorite poet. He's independently wealthy and lives in New York. So I rest my case about the privilege of writing poetry. In any case, I most like THE COSMOS POEMS. I would love to type one up and post it here, but I can't. His poems blow me away. Stunning. Absolutely stunning work.

In any case, my sister was able to fix the manuscript pagination and formatting. Thank God! I will try to revise a poem called "Radiance" that is the second poem toward the end now tonight. I had totally given up on the editing process and further revisions, but my sister came to the rescue. I am terrible with WORD. In any case, it's 100 degrees in Denver, and I'm roasting.

I have played out the entire hearing in my head over and over and am terrified that I said something totally stupid which will negate my case. My attorney is real good and wrote a letter to the judge after the fact arguing with a vocational expert who said I could leap tall buildings in a single bound. Ugh. I just hope the judge takes the evidence from my doctor more seriously than the government paid vocational specialist or anything stupid I may have said. Basically I am VERY nervous around such authority figures, and I ramble. And ramble I did. Ugh. I will be devastated if I lose my claim.

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