Monday, September 10, 2012

Now that I let that out, I can get back to business. Granted, I should just ignore that, but it really ticked me off. In any case, I wrote put 53 poems together, and they are hanging together nicely. I feel pretty good about them too. I'm going to continue working on them.

I am still waiting to hear back from the Leadership Academy, but I should hear something within the week.


I write this blog for myself. It helps me process trauma and recovery, and I use it more as a notebook of reflections. For some reason, I think I need not explain it. I also use it to reflect on how my writing is coming along.

For seven years, I've had difficulty writing due to trauma and recovery. It's kept me pretty busy-- healing. Writing of necessity had to take a back seat. So writing here; however horribly has helped me. So when I say writing saved my life, I mean it. I wrote very little, but kept on revising and processing the trauma (amnesia or repressed memories are very real to me). It is no joking matter. It took me about four years to understand what happened to me. I really had a difficult time four years ago now, so PTSD is no laughing matter. My second collection deals with that trauma and recovery from it. There were multiple traumas but one was totally repressed until my step-father passed away. Now this third collection of poems seems more focused as I am writing them. I am not struggling to breathe, to live.

I don't think writing should have limits. Writing about the self is a complete section in the collection I am putting together. One survives trauma split in a sense. Compassion for oneself is simply not there. One can not be compassionate toward others, if one can not be compassionate to herself. This is a difficult skill to learn. People often do not recognize the damage that trauma can cause. I've posted some videos about PTSD a long time ago and am wondering if I shouldn't do so again.


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