Wednesday, January 02, 2013

Beck-The Golden Age

Recognizing more and more that things are going well. I need to stay in the here and now and go with those who actively support my work. I need to be in the present and not worry. I feel confident that SEVEN is a good book. I feel confident that my third collection, secretly titled is also good. I am blessed to have time to write, and I will and can work with those who have a common goal for their own work, whether it be in the community or on the page. But my community is essentially all around me right now. I need to recognize and support them--those with truly generous spirits. I am finding they are often less chest-beating than other people who talk about being community supporters who don't seem to be. Appearance vs. Reality. I know who supports the work, the hard work. Canto Mundo was a fantastic experience, and I feel I was lucky to meet some wonderful writers who aren't into playing power games of machismo, masculinity and arrogance. They are simply writing, and I must say, they are writing well, which is a goal of mine. I am going to live in this moment. They also support a larger cause, and really truly support it. It is something to state something and another thing to truly believe and act on it.

I met some good people at Canto Mundo, and I feel that they are seeking more, being more. So blessed to have made some solid connections there. Genuine "connections." Not mere faking support and pompous arrogance-- thank God! Need to move beyond the past desire to be part of a clique- a small tiny clique that leads to nowhere. I'm into the here and now where people spark and sizzle with true tenacity, eagerness and generosity. Don't tell me you're fierce if you are a lion for destruction and causing hurt. Don't tell me you are fierce in political action when you merely are misogynistic, hateful and arrogant. From now on, rather that getting upset about it, I'm moving on into the light that is true community. And there is peace in that.

I'm here in El Paso, Texas and I'm going to make the most out of these last few days. Looking forward to going back to Denver. I have a ticket to the "On Becoming Van Gogh" exhibit at the Denver Museum of Art. Very excited to see the exhibit as many have spoken highly of it. Let go of those who we expect generosity from, who are not generous. Let go of such expectations. Find your audience. Find your community. They might not be who you think they are. This I am learning. This is the now.

A true generous and community spirited individual is designing a website for me, and he has a large vision for building connections that are solid. I admire his work because he is a good writer and a good spirit. No chest-beating, no treachery towards hurting others. It's about the writing. It's about the now. I will let go the past. I will no longer expect support from those who are only interested in their egos.

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