Mary J. Blige - No More Drama

"No More Drama" ha!~

I am at Starbucks with Gwen, my roomate. We are drinking Frappucinos and she likes Mary J. Blige, so I'm posting it.

I have been considering changing the title of my manuscript yet again. I think I may go with the third choice. I will speak to three people examining it now and see how they like the newest title which would be THE HUNGER OF FORGETTING. The other title is ARC OF THE SUN. Feel free to vote and let me know which one you prefer. I think the first title is more expressive of what's going on in the book than ARC OF THE SUN, though I do have a poem titled "Arc of the Sun." Well, I'll likely go back and forth on it, but I think 7Seven is out now.

Blessings! March is already closing in, and I can't believe it.

I really am feeling good and will continue working and revising and polishing the manuscript and am curious to get some feedback from other poets and readers.

Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love - Knebworth - 1979

I'm with Brian at the Starbucks on Colfax and Kipling, and we are listening to Led Zeppelin because B picked them and I like them too.

I added a poem titled "The Hunger of Forgetting" and will hopefully get some feedback to how it's working in the manuscript.

Just sent two poems to a journal. An essay I wrote re: Chicano/a poetry will be published in the next issue of the American Book Review.

Adios.

Green Day - Jesus Of Suburbia (Video)

Jesus of Suburbia GREEN DAY

This video reminds me of the time I spent in Germany. Wild times with two friends I've since lost touch with. Spent some time briefly in Berlin, Paris and Prague.

I am at the library and have a few minutes of internet time left. Specified some of my concerns about the manuscript in an email and feel much, much better now. Writing down what specifically concerned me helped me figure out where I need to go with it a bit.

Checked out ABOVE THE RIVER: THE COMPLETE POEMS OF JAMES WRIGHT. Wesylan and THE ART OF LOSING: Poems of GRIEF AND HEALING by Kevin Young. Bloomsbury.

Depeche Mode - New Life (Top Of The Pops) 1981

Reading DOOR IN THE MOUNTAIN: New and Collected Poems 1965-2003 by Jean Valentine. Like the idea of New Life today which she expressed in one of her poems!! Feeling good. Feel Good. Feel good! Seeking a new life in many ways. NEW LIFE. NEW LIFE. NEW LIFE. NEW LIFE.

Difficulty liking the poem below and will possibly pull it from the manuscript. My negative fears about the manuscript are rooted in negative thought patterns created when I was younger and I have to learn to stop those negative thoughts. Easier said than done. Then again...maybe there are some serious problems with it. Ugh. Oh to be confident!!! To be self-assured about my work! I feel deflated despite positive feedback. Time to get it together!!! NEW LIFE. These vacillations may help. I swing from over-inflated ego to distraught "people-pleaser." Time to get it together! I have created something, birthed it too quite painfully and am realizing I've held on to the manuscript for a very, very long time, years. So I am waiting to hear back from some critics I suspect can only help. But I need to know when to trust myself because the poems are born of a journey dealing with trauma, and in many ways they are going to be different than other people's poems. Different presses for different strokes?

Also will begin IN THE NEXT GALAXY by Ruth Stone.

Very glad to be reading women. Jean Valentine's collection has made an impression and I am learning a lot in reading it. It's interesting to see her progression through the years, and I am recognizing that one must simply do the best one can do.

NEW LIFE. NEW LIFE. NEW LIFE. NEW LIFE. NEW LIFE. NEW LIFE. NEW LIFE. NEW LIFE. NEW LIFE.

Congrats to Eduardo C. Corral

Congrats to Eduardo C. Corral for winning the Yale Series for younger poets. You dogg!

I am still revising and am finding myself stuck, so I'm going to look at this poem, which seems one of the weaker ones in the manuscript and post it, so I can really look at it. Have I listened to too much advice or is what's in my gut about this one coming from wanting to please others, particularly a friend who edited an earlier version of it. I've cut so much out of the poem out, I can't seem to look at it and make changes at the moment, but I know presenting a poem to others can really get me to take another look at what needs to be done. I'm stuck for a bit, so hopefully this will get me freed up to make some decisions about it.

Ouray’s Eyes

-Chief of the Ute tribe of Colorado. Born in Taos in 1833, dead at 47 after a trip to D.C.


He knew four languages [ okay... Brave, you knew four languages
but they named him savage: but they called you savage.]
Ute, Apache, Spanish, English.
No smile, only a subtle turn
away from the camera.

They called him diplomatic, [ How many times should I repeat "Brave"?
patient, friend of whites. Yes, there's some room to add imagery,
In his gray eyes, subdued rage, and evoke more emotion. It's too prosy.]
an arrow flung through the distance
between Colorado and D.C..

They called him beleaguered.
His eyes hold the gray in the world
with dead-eyed dignity.

Braves held the same gaze,
asked the same old questions
of genocide. And what of their
silence?

We are innocent,
the world proclaims,
yet none of us clean
enough to gaze back
into Ouray's eyes.


*

Maybe I'll post the earlier version later. It's transmorphed into this and I'm not sure if critic is merely opposed to the politics of it all. Lots of abstractions, so I might re-ad some imagery.

Nope. This one does need changes. Or possibly I should cut it? But it wasn't really criticized by reviewers. I'll try to mess with it here. I will start it possibly like this:

Brave, they called you beleaguered, your eyes held the gray in the world with dead-eyed dignity/ Hands thick and lips turned downward in a small frown./ Your round hard gut... unwavering.

HERE'S A NEWER VERSION FOR NOW--


Ouray’s Eyes

-Chief of the Ute tribe of Colorado. Born in Taos in 1833, dead at 47 after a trip to D.C.


Brave, they called you beleaguered,
your eyes held the gray in the world
with dead-eyed dignity. Hands thick
and lips turned downward in a small frown.
Your round hard gut unwavering.

Brave, you knew four languages
but they called you savage:
Ute, Apache, Spanish, English.
No smile, only a subtle turn
away from the camera.

They called you diplomatic,
patient, friend of whites.
Feigning friendship to keep
Your people alive.
In your gray eyes, subdued rage,
an arrow shot.

Braves held the same gaze,
asked the same old questions
of genocide. And what of their
silence?

We are innocent,
the world proclaims,
yet none of us clean
enough to gaze back.

Manuscript Question(s)...

The title of my manuscript has changed. I'll keep it to myself for now. I like it better as do those who have been helping me with the manuscript. I'm going to outline what I'm doing-- it's a rough sketch of table of contents as I am concerned about having section titles in Latin. Someone says the Latin is pretentious etc.. The thing is, if I do the section titles in English will they be seen as the Seven Sins and Seven Virtues or will they just seem like emotions: ie: Anger/Patience,
Greed/Diligence. Will not the Latin help lend that theory to readers in that when they inquire into the meaning of the Latin they will automatically understand the sections? The three reviewers at a press said nothing about changing section titles. But maybe I need to. Please tell me what you think. I know hardly anyone reads blogs anymore, but I really could use some help. Similarly several poem titles seem banal. What to do? Is anyone out there willing to email me on this? So there are seven sections, based on the pairings of the sins/virtues and one of the problems is the poems tend towards excess rather than restraint. In other words, I'm more of a sinner. Hehehe Would that lopsidedness bother you in the sections? Also, if I take the easy way out and just have the seven sins, is that pure laziness on my part. I have tried of late to write a poem on/about restraint and it has proven difficult. There is an underlying lesson to myself in all of this. Okay, here are the section titles and title of poems, minus the title which was Seven7 and is no longer Seven7 or 7 or Seven. ;) It's been unanimously favored over Seven7 by my wonderful friends and conscientious critics! I feel great about the new title. Okay, still a bit shaky on the manuscript, still uncertain as if I should add new poems ie: restraint. Please email me and let me know what your views are on the Latin.? Please. Or you can call me at 720-454-2863 and we can talk about your stuff/manuscript too. Pretty Please. EDUARDO. hint hint Okay, maybe I'll be calling YOU.


I. Ira/Patentia
La Chingada...
The Memory...
The Breaking...
Equus...
Bucephalus ...
A Contentious Woman...???!!!! or should it be Colorado Winter????

II. Luxuria/Casitas
The Photograph...
Kitchen of Grief... (is this too odd for you? It's been published but one critic is opposed to this title)
Brandy Down Our throats like fire (same criticism)
He wants a poem... (ugh. I see criticism coming this way?)
Three

III. Acedia/Dilegentia
Crazy Ted talks to the Virgen de Guadalupe
El Pescador... (should it be in Spanish if nothing in said poem is about culture? ie: it really is about fish/fishermen. Should it be in English?

Nada
Cabeza de Vaca's Horse

IV. Superbia/Humilitas
Elegy for Narcissus...
Writing the Next Poem...
Border...????
El Paso Women...????
Lubbock Texas...

V. Gula/Absentia
Gall Bladder...one critic has problems with title, previously published???
Chico's Tacos... oh yes, I have a poem about Chico's in this manuscript
Seven...
Elegy for a Warrior...
Feeding Season...
Forty...

VI.
Avaritia/Liberalitas (I'm getting tired of typing; how do people type out fiction?)
The Damselfly...
Stars Emerge from Every Conceivable Place....?
Not one red cent
The Loser
Hit and Run
Ouray's Eyes???
Mortar ... said critic dislikes title, previously published
The Wounded Healer

VII.
Invidia/Humanitas
Coming Home...
Born in the Southwest...
All that will ever matter...
Every Loser Surprises the world...
Arc of the Sun...
La Mano Negra....(fixed this? IS Spanish okay?)
The Path...
Small Defiant gods (does this sound too much like a cartoon?)
Recovery...
Witness

Thanks to anyone who is willing to give me their take on any of this....

Re-Working Manuscript in the snow

I am painstakingly revising my manuscript. It is going to be an arduous process as I have been completely re-working it, including a new title. I will email press soon re: title change and other changes will continue as I have much that can be improved upon. I realize that the ego gets in the way: envy, jealousy, fears, insecurities and so much more. But I think it is getting better. I want it to be much better than it presently is and feel I must continue plodding away at it, though this morning I was completely exacerbated with the damn thing! Onward!

We are snowed in yet again in Denver metro area. It is a good time to work on it in the midst of Wii noise, two t.v.'s etc. But I need to keep working at it. I am looking to change a number of titles of poems as well.

I am terribly insecure about the manuscript in that I feel it will be published. One reviewer felt that I didn't provide an aha moment or "epiphany" I guess, and I've come to the conclusion that I am indeed at this moment in my life unsure of much and it's okay that that uncertainty comes through in the manuscript. Death confused me, shocked me, threw me into a severe episode. It's time to move on and simply do the best I can do. I constantly criticize the manuscript, feel ambivalent about it, and unsure of my ability as a poet, but I will continue to work on it. I don't want to overwork it, but I do want to re-work it to the best of my ability.

Some discouraging numbers/facts

VIDA-- women are disproportionately published in these mags! The numbers are very discouraging. Time to send some poems to said magazines! And, ugh, others.